i stood on the other side
of the security tape.
watching as my lovely mother
extended her passport
[with two hands]
to the security guard.
she flashed the peace sign.
her shoulders signaled
a deep and slow sigh.
a final goodbye was mouthed.
and then my lovely mother
disappeared behind the security barrier.
i stood very still.
the people bustled around me.
the giant clock hanging high over head
moved on.
i felt convinced she might reemerge
from behind that barrier.
but she didn't.
she journeyed on.
breathed in. breathed out.
and i realized i must too.
i caught the express subway.
from incheon international airport
to seoul station.
and just like that, we pulled away.
we were moving.
the ever-prompt and informative
korean public transportation system
with the flashing screen
in multi-languages
informed me
this ride would take approximately
54 minutes.
and i realized...
i'd stayed too long at the airport.
and i was going to miss my 5:00 pm [17:00] train,
bound for my Korean home.
but as luck would have it.
i stepped onto the KTX train
car number 12.
seat 14D
at 4:59.and a half...
just as the doors were closing.
just having sprinted up four levels of escaladers.
from the very deepest depths of the world
of seoul subway systems,
my breath was heavy
as i approached my seat,
"아줌마..??"
adjumma...
i addressed the older woman who would be
my seat-mate for the ride.
she smiled kindly and stood to move
so i could slide between her
and the window
into 14D.
and just like that, we pulled away.
we were moving.
the Korean country side
blurred in and out of my distracted attention.
i tried to read.
i tried to listen to a "this American life" episode.
my seat-mate slowly and methodically read
her newspaper.
without warning.
a few tears settled themselves into my eyes.
and they would not be blinked back.
my face.
it was turned from her [my seat-mate],
out the window
to the rolling rice patties
perfect in their twists
and playful, deliberate turns.
the next thing i knew.
my seat-mate adjumma
was offering me half the package
of her snack,
dried squid.
with a little wet-wipe even
for my assumedly dirty hands.
she wouldn't even look at me
as i fumbled through my feeble polite-Korean
language attempts.
she pushed the squid into
my hands with serious force.
her face barely hinted at a smile.
her act was done out of necessity.
not for her.
but for me.
how could she tell?
was it the few measly sniffles
that made their escape from my tight throat
into the wide wide world?
or was it something about her mother's heart,
that just knew?
i hate dried squid.
but this one.
went down brilliantly.
and i never tasted something so sweet.
and just like that...
we kept moving.