the day of love

Valentine's Day.

Here you are again.

Oh boy.

This holiday and I have always seemed to have a bit of a strained, but funny, complex, yet simple, and all the while a slightly bitter relationship. It's really not my fault entirely that this holiday and I have been on the fritz for most of my years now. 

Perhaps it's because the holiday revolves around pastel pinks & sassy reds while I am much more of a deep green & autumnal yellow girl. Or maybe it's because I secretly think roses are drab little flowers. But, honestly if I could place the blame anywhere {and I'm about to} I would put it, one-hundred percent, twenty absolutely's, and a service full of hallelujahs on:

High School.

It was the high school  l o v e  that I was not about. The awkward hand-holding, the carnation giving, the boxes of chocolate, and don't get me going about those little stuffed teddy bears. Barf. 

In high school.

On Valentine's Day

this girl wore 

black.

Yes black.

From head to toe.

I like to fancy this young push back against society as my earliest flirtations with my feminist awakening ... {wink. wink. elbow. elbow}

And while I would hate to limit and dismiss any rumblings of political engagement, I think there was something much simpler that I saw missing in my high school environment.

l o v e

for

oneself.

It might sound silly,

But I believe this is some of the hardest work of all.

Sometimes I need small reminders.

To choose myself.

To love the quirks.

The failures.

The aspiration.

To accept myself right now

just as I are ...

even without the list of New Years Resolutions.

It's hard work.

Hard, hard work.

Easier for some than others.

But it's our work

And it's good work

And that my friends ...

That is  l o v e. 

Sending you all my  l o v e  today.

From this girl,

who this year is wearing pink!!

- n.

{actually, no no. I couldn't do it. I can still celebrate and wear green. I can!}

Happy Valentine's Day.