Saturday, March 31, 2012

nice roommates and new keys

i only did it once.
but sometimes once is all
you need.
to get labeled.


remember like almost 2 months
ago?
when this bit of the world was
still pretending to
be winter?


remember when snow lazily covered
the grass
and ice clung to the roads?


seems so distant now, doesn't it?
with the green buds and eager flowers
finally remerging into our lives.


(i love spring).


anyway...


during this short amount
of time,
during the bit of winter that we
kind-of-sort-of had...
i dropped my apartment
key
into a serious snowbank.


oops.


my key had escaped from my
keychain multiple times before,
because of my lousy key ring.


i'd been promising to get a new
one for quite some time.
actually the entire 5 months i'd had
this key.


oops.


but of all the times the key had 
escaped.
i always found it.


but not this time. 


secretly, i knew this key was a 
goner for sure.


but, that's not what i told my
roommate.


i convinced her, that i would
indeed find it.
and very soon.


i suggested my roommate hide her key,
(the only key we had left)
predictably under our doormat.


and she complied.
for far too many weeks.


until last week, when i came home 
to this.
under the doormat.


my roommate had finally had enough.
she'd copied
the key.
and found me a new keychain.

it's been a week now.
and my new key
is nice and safe.

plus, who knew i'd ever enjoy
the perk of wearing
my keys as a fashionable
bracelet??

- n.




Friday, March 2, 2012

here's to asking!


i like to help.
i love it. 
i want to offer.
i'd go that extra stretch for 
my friends
the kids
my girls
my people.
even that friendly
stranger in the store.

it's just
how it is.
we all enjoy helping.

and we'd want it no
other way.
right?
of course.

but 
when the time comes
that i might have to
ask 
for help...

i stop.
i pause.
i struggle.
i can't.

i couldn't ask her to do that!
that'd be silly!
my thoughts twirl and mix
together each working to
convince each other.

it's fine.
it'll be fine.

i'll just take care of it.
it's fine.
i'll be fine.
no really.
i will.

i convince myself.
over and over.

when it comes to ourselves.
it's harder
perhaps impossible
to do that one unimaginable thing:


ask.

this is when
the curse of living in a culture
that values 
self sufficiency and independence 
above most other things 
cripples 
instead of empowers.

the other day.
i offered to my friend,
to help.

she laughed. 
she paused. 
she thought. 
she bit her lower lip gently, kindly.
...wondering.

then she did something bold.
something i've come to
believe is counter cultural,
out of the norm, strong and 
incredibly brave.

she accepted my offer.
she asked.

and so today.
this one thing
that my friend could have done herself...
we got to do it together.

today i was gifted to be the
giver
but quite honestly, i was more inspired by
her ability and acceptance to receive.
just receive.

why is receiving 
sometimes so much harder 
than giving?

because actually, it made my day.