nice roommates and new keys

i only did it once.
but sometimes once is all
you need.
to get labeled.


remember like almost 2 months
ago?
when this bit of the world was
still pretending to
be winter?


remember when snow lazily covered
the grass
and ice clung to the roads?


seems so distant now, doesn't it?
with the green buds and eager flowers
finally remerging into our lives.


(i love spring).


anyway...


during this short amount
of time,
during the bit of winter that we
kind-of-sort-of had...
i dropped my apartment
key
into a serious snowbank.


oops.


my key had escaped from my
keychain multiple times before,
because of my lousy key ring.


i'd been promising to get a new
one for quite some time.
actually the entire 5 months i'd had
this key.


oops.


but of all the times the key had 
escaped.
i always found it.


but not this time. 


secretly, i knew this key was a 
goner for sure.


but, that's not what i told my
roommate.


i convinced her, that i would
indeed find it.
and very soon.


i suggested my roommate hide her key,
(the only key we had left)
predictably under our doormat.


and she complied.
for far too many weeks.


until last week, when i came home 
to this.
under the doormat.

my roommate had finally had enough.

she'd copied

the key.

and found me a new keychain.

it's been a week now.

and my new key

is nice and safe.

plus, who knew i'd ever enjoy

the perk of wearing

my keys as a fashionable

bracelet??

- n.

a donut discovery

this week i was

introduced to a new friend.

it was instant attraction.

some might call it:

love at first look.

upon the first moments 

of being together

it felt like we had known

each other all along.

like we'd never

been apart.

this friend was meant for me.

and i was, obviously meant

for this friend.

this is the friend

i had never known

i had always been waiting for.

and that is why our meeting is

serendipitously perfect.

a true fairytale

if you've ever heard one.

we met.

E 25th Street & 30th Ave South.

at a neighborhood favorite

called the Donut Cooperative. 

it took me a minute to know.

to know that is was

indeed this friend.

this friend that was meant

to be.

but after she was

on the plate.

all doubts were far far away.

like probably as

far as St. Paul.

that's how far.

her name?

curry coconut donut.

depends on who you are,

but you might have to

trust me on this one.

she was perfect in 

every way.

the other person i was

there with

...she made other friends.

but none as special

as my new friend.

 the whole place was

full of vibrant color &

clean-straight lines.

there is one cozy corner

to saddle up to 

if your desire is to

stay the morning away.

the staff is quirky & kind

and just crazy about

their creations.

the owner Dawn was there

that morning.

baking away.

and she seemed genuinely

pleased to know

her donut brilliance

brought me 

and my new friend together.

and i will probably

never be the same again. 

so dear curry coconut donut.

until we meet again.

at the,

yours truly.

- n. 

changes like: bangs.

things change.
and sometimes there is nothing 
around you reflecting
that change you feel.


what can be done?
sometimes nothing.
but sometimes
something must be done.


something drastic.


to remind you everyday
of the change you
feel all around.
and of the change you
feel within yourself. 


this past week.
i did that something drastic.


uh-oh.


i got bangs.


i didn't just get bangs 
anywhere.
i went to the cutest, most
shabby-est of chic-ish interior
shabby-chic has ever seen before.


i tell no lies.
this is not something to
joke about.
that's how perfectly
fabulous it was.


where was i
you ask?

why! this lovely place,

yes you did just read
correctly.
salon & creative space.
um-hello?


if only i wasn't so busy
eye-goggling mirrors,
wallpaper & chaise lounges
pillows & birdcages
lamps & wall art...


if only i wasn't so absorbed
in the act of
you know, getting bangs...


i would have snapped some
photos to share.
because this place.
this salon & creative space
must be known.


but alas
the only visual i can share
is what can be found on 
their website.

no matter.
you'll just have to visit
yourself i guess.


tucked between the hour car rental
& the bird cafe
BANGbang is nestled cozily
into a weathered brick exterior.
right in the Kingfield
neighborhood.


as my stylist
stood snipping away
layer upon layer of locks,


she remarked,
"why didn't you come after 3pm? 
then you could have sipped on a 
glass of wine."


oh why oh why
didn't i?!


instead i enjoyed my
orange juice.
next time, i promised
my palate. 


i had to ask her.
as she snipped snipped away.
because what she was doing
was pretty typical.
yet how she approached it
...something was
different.


"each head of hair
is my canvas," she remarked.
"to create, style and transform.
that's the fun part.
the creating.
helping to create
the change for people.
that's why i do this."


and that,
is precisely what she did.
style & trim.
here, here & then suddenly
... there.
an artist in her
own right.


her work
reflected something deep
inside that
was begging to be
expressed.


BANGbang assisted me
in that expression.


"there!" she said,
twisting me around to see
her final touches.
"i'm done here."


good, i thought.
now my work begins.
to settle into
the change inside
as well as the change
that is now
staring right back at
me.


"oh yeah, and pop in
anytime
for a bang trim.
they're free!"


i can't exactly remember.
but i think
i might have hugged
her.


have you been to BANGbang?
do tell. do tell.


- n.

remember what we've known.

with autumn

and halloween in

the air.

jack-o-lanterns

and leaf piles

on the corners.

candy and more

candy lining 

the convenient store aisles.

i thought it might

be time

to do something

i've been meaning to do

for years now.

take a walk

through Lakewood Cemetery.

this Minneapolis cemetery 

was established in 1871 

just 13 years after

Minnesota received 'statehood'.

old right?

right.

on first noticings,

the cemetery just keeps

going, going

and going.

the trees reach high

and the grounds are 

impeccably kept.

the stillness is encompassing

and inviting.

i was taught

when i was just a

little girl

to love cemeteries.

for the stillness

for the history

for the honoring of those

who have come before.

the names.

they are written,

but they are unknown to me.

does someone still remember?

and for the stories.

is this Mother's story

still etched in

a child or grandchild's memory?

am i living how i am

in part because of

Mother Ida?

dear Mother and Father Wong,

have you made my

life a little easier?

dear uncle joe.

did you let your 

nieces and nephews sit on

your lap?

did you tell them stories

of the world from the 1790s.

did you remark,

"my how the world is changing!"

just when i think the

world,

back then,

is completely unknown to me.

it is then i find

the statue of

the mother.

cuddling her joys,

just like so many

mothers do.

and i wonder,

at how somethings 

time 

can never & will never 

change.

cemeteries invite me 

to take a moment.

and to just gaze at the

sky.

 

and let the blueness

stun me.

in my wanderings

i find this little girl.

whose life seems to

have ended 

too soon.

i wonder what

dreams filled her head

and imagination.

 

do you remember?

can you remember?

who you wanted to be,

when you were just that small?

this woman.

takes

my breath away.

i even hesitate to

take any bit of her

into my camera lens.

i walk round and round her.

stand next to her.

even her stoneness possess 

a presence

that overwhelms me.

i get lost

amidst the 

trees

names

histories 

stories

and statues.

but i don't mind.

because i am just remembering

things i never knew.

or perhaps i do know.

perhaps we all know and 

perhaps we always have.

perhaps our stories our

interwoven

more than we could ever imagine.

we are because they were.

i am because you are.

connectedness.

those before us,

those around us,

and those to come after us.

maybe we have held all those

pieces since our

first Creation.

maybe. just maybe.

happy autumn.

may we remember

what we have always known.

- n.

find your feet.

it might not feel normal

to be discussing new year 

dreams and resolutions 

in the orangey middle of

october.

so please if you can offer a bit

of forgiveness to this soul...

because i am....

that is, dwelling on 

some particular thoughts and hopes

i held a mere ten months

ago.

one of which was to sit on a 

beach

{in Thailand}

with my feet dug into the sand

feeling the cold tingling 

smoothness

only the insides of beaches

can offer.

to sit on this beach

all day.

to watch sunrise

and sunset.

that was my promise to myself.

the purpose?

to be still and watch the world's

movement.

for just one day.

to appreciate the cycle.

to lay on my back

and if i was very quiet 
and still,

to see  if i could feel

the world's turning.

maybe it's a silly idea.

but then...

it seemed important.

a gift i would give myself.

but here ten months later

instead of standing on the 

beaches of Thailand,

i found myself instead meandering 

amongst the rocks

of the North Shore.

and while there was

no tingling and coolness of the sand,

the earth was still doing its thing.

the sun still greeting and giving.

the moon still brightening and beckoning.

i couldn't help wondering 

about that promise i made to myself

more than 300 days past.

sometimes choices are made that

change all foreseen plans.

sometimes choices are made that

usurp the life you knew.

but when the dust settles if you look

down

you will find your feet.

your trusty feet.

who have carried you

faithfully this far

and won't abandon you yet.

even if you find yourself

standing someplace

you would 

have never imagined.

so just stand on them.

and wait.

the sun will come.

the world will turn.

and the moon with keep you

company.

wherever you find yourself.
whether in Thailand
the North Shore
the office
or the living room.
here's to standing.




- n.