to my biggest fan.

as i sat down to
write in his card this morning
i realized
he really is quite good at
so many things.


like running tons of miles
over his lunch hour.
and biking all day
or at least 50 miles.


then there's motorcycles & sailboats.
his information about any and all
weather situations.
things like
cutting down trees & getting lost
in Costco aisles.
like when to follow maps & when
to find your own way. 


of course things like
seeing & listening.
investing wisely.
teaching truth.
making friends 
wherever he goes.
enjoying his every circumstance.

see?
so many things.


but there's one thing he's
really good at.
and what's funny is
he underwent absolutely zero training
for this endeavor.


and he actually seems to
be better at this one
than all the rest.


well, maybe i'm just biased.
(could be).


so Dad.
thanks for being the one
i call
dad.


want to know something?
i didn't choose you.
and quite honestly you didn't
exactly choose me either.


but Dad, here's the thing.
you've chosen me
each and everyday 
of my life.


and i know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that you'll choose me
again tomorrow & the next day
and for as many days
as we have to come... 


and that.
that has made 
all the difference.


to my biggest fan.
(ps i'm yours too).


happy father's day.


xo,


n.

when the words go out

it's been a long while
since i've headed
to the library
with such intensity
and purpose.


when all around me
there are words
words words


and i discover that
i have nothing left to give 
you
you
or you.
or actually you either.
or myself.


it's then that i need to
jump in.
off deep.
swirl and twirl and turn and roll.
flip and glance, skim and read
again&again&again.


when all the words go out of me.
there is little to do except keep the 
fear away.
away.
away.


and search for connection.


yes.
to be with what is.


roaming the aisles
of books
like an impulsive buyer, while
making no commitments that
cannot be kept.

up and down each aisle i go.
car repairs to travel.
chinese to teen fiction. 
american history & the ancient wisdoms.


poets and their poems.
design and redecorating. 
a children's book to teach what 
really needs 
to be known.

an author, just grab all 4 of her books 
in order to hear how her voice 
might change and grow.

i just need them near.
these words that are not my own.
from room to room
i carry them.
sit them next to me while i work,
while i eat
while i call through the phone. 


friends i'll never know.
but their words they left behind.
they are not mine.
they're theirs.
except.
if the time is right
our words might grow together.

deep roots.
yet, new branches reaching
further than
either them or i can begin to
imagine.


and here they sit.
safe with me.
and me with them.
the words.
the words of another.
the words of others.

and so my mind can be calm.
can settle and rest.
just be.
just be.


my words will come again.
not today,
maybe not tomorrow.
but they'll be back.
because they never left really.
they were just resting.


resting in the work of another.


but for tonight.
i'll just flip and turn.
peak and skim.
over&over&over again.
slower this time then skip
to the next.


yes.
to be with what is.


and that's what to do
when the words go out of you.




- n.

mandolin lessons

new experiences.

there's something intriguing about

them -- these new experiences.

they have a funny way of

making us what we are.

new experiences...

just because.

just because you saw it

once.

just because you thought you'd

never.

just because you know he'll love

My cousin playing his new mandolin. He's just a wee bit excited!

it.

just because you were

curious.

just because.

it's always inspiring to

see people choosing, seeking out, walking to

these,

sometimes scary

sometimes intimidating

sometimes crazy

experiences.

like, 

deciding it's time to get a 

motocycle license.

like,

moving your entire family

to Texas

for a few months.

or like asking your parents to

buy you a mandolin

because you just wanted to learn

to play.

new experiences.

they have a funny way

of often

making us what we are.

cheers,

natalie

enjoying the impractical.

cheers to summer.


did you feel it today?
were you in it?
were you all about it?
were you absorbed?


on days like these my 
{sometimes too serious}
soul
needs to be reminded
to do things.
just to do them.


somedays my
{often too serious}
soul
needs to be reminded
to be a bit less practical
and just
enjoy.


lucky for me.
i have friends who help
my soul
remember
to
play.


and enjoy
the impractical.


so instead of going out
to get some practical
food item like breakfast, 
lunch or dinner.
she & i went to get
(of all impractical things)
a sweet.


at this place...

yum indeed!

while i've had a few treats

from this fabulous

establishment over the years,

i'd never before set foot in

their cafe.

and boy oh boy have i been

missing out.

so

one fork-full at at time,

as summer surrounded us

this

{sometimes a little too serious}

soul

was gently reminded to

forget about all the things

she wasn't doing 

and instead

kick her feet up,

grab a fork

and just enjoy.

cheers.

to sweets.

to my friends who teach me.

to enjoying the impractical.

oh and 
dear summer... 
cheers to you.


- n.

extended vacation

I took a little vacation. A little Memorial Day vacation. Ok, well sort of a long Memorial Day vaction. An  e x t e n d e d  Memorial Day vacation to be exact. I returned Thursday night as the sun was turning all things a milky orange color during the best time of day, dusk.


My couple of short airplane flights took me this time to Los Angles to visit a friend, two friends actually, the ocean, the mountains, the taco trucks and the sunshine. 

Quality time spent romping around LA with each of these friends of old was exactly what I had been looking for. 

The ocean was just as I remembered her -- brilliant, strong, always changing, yet comfortingly consistent. 

The mountains? They were perfect (as mountains often seem to be). 

And finally, judging by the rumblings of burritos still in my stomach and the skin on my nose starting to rebel by coming off of me -- I think the  e x t e n d e d  Memorial Day vacation was fairly successful.


How was your Memorial Day??


best,
natalie.