changes like: bangs.

things change.
and sometimes there is nothing 
around you reflecting
that change you feel.


what can be done?
sometimes nothing.
but sometimes
something must be done.


something drastic.


to remind you everyday
of the change you
feel all around.
and of the change you
feel within yourself. 


this past week.
i did that something drastic.


uh-oh.


i got bangs.


i didn't just get bangs 
anywhere.
i went to the cutest, most
shabby-est of chic-ish interior
shabby-chic has ever seen before.


i tell no lies.
this is not something to
joke about.
that's how perfectly
fabulous it was.


where was i
you ask?

why! this lovely place,

yes you did just read
correctly.
salon & creative space.
um-hello?


if only i wasn't so busy
eye-goggling mirrors,
wallpaper & chaise lounges
pillows & birdcages
lamps & wall art...


if only i wasn't so absorbed
in the act of
you know, getting bangs...


i would have snapped some
photos to share.
because this place.
this salon & creative space
must be known.


but alas
the only visual i can share
is what can be found on 
their website.

no matter.
you'll just have to visit
yourself i guess.


tucked between the hour car rental
& the bird cafe
BANGbang is nestled cozily
into a weathered brick exterior.
right in the Kingfield
neighborhood.


as my stylist
stood snipping away
layer upon layer of locks,


she remarked,
"why didn't you come after 3pm? 
then you could have sipped on a 
glass of wine."


oh why oh why
didn't i?!


instead i enjoyed my
orange juice.
next time, i promised
my palate. 


i had to ask her.
as she snipped snipped away.
because what she was doing
was pretty typical.
yet how she approached it
...something was
different.


"each head of hair
is my canvas," she remarked.
"to create, style and transform.
that's the fun part.
the creating.
helping to create
the change for people.
that's why i do this."


and that,
is precisely what she did.
style & trim.
here, here & then suddenly
... there.
an artist in her
own right.


her work
reflected something deep
inside that
was begging to be
expressed.


BANGbang assisted me
in that expression.


"there!" she said,
twisting me around to see
her final touches.
"i'm done here."


good, i thought.
now my work begins.
to settle into
the change inside
as well as the change
that is now
staring right back at
me.


"oh yeah, and pop in
anytime
for a bang trim.
they're free!"


i can't exactly remember.
but i think
i might have hugged
her.


have you been to BANGbang?
do tell. do tell.


- n.

poetry. no i mean poetry.

i have two friends
who first introduced me
to poetry.


and not just the rhyming
imagery, prose and verse.
i mean the kind
that when the reader
reaches the end of the poem,
the reader will never
be the same.


poetry that is
earth altering
jaw clenching
wind knocking.


poetry that exposes.
poetry that disrupts.
disturbs.


poetry that introduces you to
a piece of your soul
you never knew was
in you.


so i thought i would share.
these words...today.


today
when the changing of seasons
is in the air.


today
when the busy people
busy around.


today
when dreamers dream.



today
when occupiers occupy.



today 
when the trees groan and bend
to the will of the wind.


today
when hopefuls beg themselves
not to give up.


but i must warn you.
only read if you are ready.
only read if you are ready...

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,

vacation with pay. Want more

of everything ready-made. Be afraid

to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.

Not even your future will be a mystery

any more. Your mind will be punched in a card

and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something

they will call you. When they want you

to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something

that won't compute. Love the Lord.

Love the world. Work for nothing.

Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace

the flag. Hope to live in that free

republic for which it stands.

Give your approval to all you cannot

understand. Praise ignorance, for what man

has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.

Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.

Say that your main crop is the forest

that you did not plant,

that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested

when they have rotted into the mold.

Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus

that will build under the trees

every thousand years.

Listen to carrion - put your ear

close, and hear the faint chattering

of the songs that are to come.

Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

though you have considered all the facts.

So long as women do not go cheap

for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy

a woman satisfied to bear a child?

Will this disturb the sleep

of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.

Lie down in the shade. Rest your head

in her lap. Swear allegiance

to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos

can predict the motions of your mind,

lose it. Leave it as a sign

to mark the false trail, the way

you didn't go. Be like the fox

who makes more tracks than necessary,

some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.

this poem is by a brilliant man,
wendell berry.
entitled:
Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.


do you have a poem that
you love?
and loves you?


please share.


- n.

alice's wonderland.

have you ever read,

alice in wonderland?

perhaps you saw the movie

as a child.

maybe it intrigued 

frightened & fascinated

you

all at the same time.

it did me.

but the book...

let's just say...

reading is so much

different that seeing

anyway this quote

found me

today.

the conversation between

alice and the caterpillar:

"Who are you?" 

said the Caterpillar.

This was not 

an encouraging opening 

for a conversation.

Alice replied, 

rather shyly,

"I--I hardly know, Sir,

just at present--at least 

I know who I was when I got

up this morning,

but I think I must

have been changed

several times since then."

"What do you mean by that?"

 said the Caterpillar, sternly. 

"Explain yourself!"

"I can't explain 

myself,

I'm afraid, Sir," 

said Alice,

"because I'm not myself, you see."

and. 

i agree with alice.

sometimes so many changes

can make me feel 

quite confused.

but i like her journey.

she is a brave girl.

until next time,

-n.

photos found from here & here.

two hands. and one heart.

in ... out.

in .... out.

it's the

in ... out.

that sometimes is the

hardest.

because i forget.

how it feels.

why it's important.

and there is only blankness.

darkness?

yes.

lightness?

i can't be sure.

whiteness.

i think.

nothingness?

nothingness?

nothingness.

it's confusing.

how can there be the

unknown amidst the known?

confusion amidst the clear?

staleness amidst the beauty?

beauty amidst the pain?

emotions amidst the nothingness?

i only have two hands.

and one heart.

how can it possibly all be held?

the opening

seems so small.

and there doesn't appear 

to be enough 

space.

in ... out.

in .... out.

it's the

in ... out.

1.2..3...

remember.

you can do it.

but.

i only have two hands.

and one heart.

how can i ask them

to hold so much?

sometimes it's just a matter

of finding the light.

and remembering how to let

it encircle...

regardless of the 

blackness

the darkness

the whiteness

the nothingness

that resides

within.

in ... out.

in .... out.

in ..... out.

breath.

just.

my friend's view through her lens.

wherever you find yourself today

find your breath.

look at your two hands.

and one heart.

and let the light

encircle you.

because today.

these things are enough.

hoping for...

- n.

  

i beg you...

i beg you,

to have patience with

everything

unresolved in your heart.

and to try.

to love the questions

themselves.

as if they were

locked

in a room

or

books written in

a very foreign

language.

don't search for the answers,

which could not be

given to you now.

because you would not

be able to

live 

them.

and the point?

to live.

everything.

live the questions now.

perhaps then,

someday

far in the future.

you will gradually,

without even

noticing it...

you will live your way

into the answers.

so today.

breath in.

and breath out.

look around.

what do you see?

poem compliments of Rainer Maria Rilke. 

i added and changed the style a bit.