very much alive.

a friend phoned
the other day

and i happened to answer.

{isn't that a pleasant surprise?}.

well it was.

within our opening breaths of 

greeting and salutations

she teased,

"i've been wondering about you,

are you alive?

where have you been??"

to which i promptly replied a, 

"why yes indeed i am.

i am very much alive. 
too sorry

for the distance! 
coffee Sunday??"

as the day trickled by,

the question

lingered 

with me.

as well as my immediate

answer.

yes i am 
so very much 
alive.

you see, i've been:

.... ignoring the uncooperative weather
and just camping anyway. 

.... exploring cities 

are that not my own.

{and liking it.

quite a bit.}

.... walking instead of driving,
because sometimes you can 
and it's wonderful.

.... making time to create.

.... and i've been looking up.

so no need to hold my calls.
i'll answer.
because
yes. 
i am very much alive.


xo.
- n.

remember what we've known.

with autumn

and halloween in

the air.

jack-o-lanterns

and leaf piles

on the corners.

candy and more

candy lining 

the convenient store aisles.

i thought it might

be time

to do something

i've been meaning to do

for years now.

take a walk

through Lakewood Cemetery.

this Minneapolis cemetery 

was established in 1871 

just 13 years after

Minnesota received 'statehood'.

old right?

right.

on first noticings,

the cemetery just keeps

going, going

and going.

the trees reach high

and the grounds are 

impeccably kept.

the stillness is encompassing

and inviting.

i was taught

when i was just a

little girl

to love cemeteries.

for the stillness

for the history

for the honoring of those

who have come before.

the names.

they are written,

but they are unknown to me.

does someone still remember?

and for the stories.

is this Mother's story

still etched in

a child or grandchild's memory?

am i living how i am

in part because of

Mother Ida?

dear Mother and Father Wong,

have you made my

life a little easier?

dear uncle joe.

did you let your 

nieces and nephews sit on

your lap?

did you tell them stories

of the world from the 1790s.

did you remark,

"my how the world is changing!"

just when i think the

world,

back then,

is completely unknown to me.

it is then i find

the statue of

the mother.

cuddling her joys,

just like so many

mothers do.

and i wonder,

at how somethings 

time 

can never & will never 

change.

cemeteries invite me 

to take a moment.

and to just gaze at the

sky.

 

and let the blueness

stun me.

in my wanderings

i find this little girl.

whose life seems to

have ended 

too soon.

i wonder what

dreams filled her head

and imagination.

 

do you remember?

can you remember?

who you wanted to be,

when you were just that small?

this woman.

takes

my breath away.

i even hesitate to

take any bit of her

into my camera lens.

i walk round and round her.

stand next to her.

even her stoneness possess 

a presence

that overwhelms me.

i get lost

amidst the 

trees

names

histories 

stories

and statues.

but i don't mind.

because i am just remembering

things i never knew.

or perhaps i do know.

perhaps we all know and 

perhaps we always have.

perhaps our stories our

interwoven

more than we could ever imagine.

we are because they were.

i am because you are.

connectedness.

those before us,

those around us,

and those to come after us.

maybe we have held all those

pieces since our

first Creation.

maybe. just maybe.

happy autumn.

may we remember

what we have always known.

- n.

i beg you...

i beg you,

to have patience with

everything

unresolved in your heart.

and to try.

to love the questions

themselves.

as if they were

locked

in a room

or

books written in

a very foreign

language.

don't search for the answers,

which could not be

given to you now.

because you would not

be able to

live 

them.

and the point?

to live.

everything.

live the questions now.

perhaps then,

someday

far in the future.

you will gradually,

without even

noticing it...

you will live your way

into the answers.

so today.

breath in.

and breath out.

look around.

what do you see?

poem compliments of Rainer Maria Rilke. 

i added and changed the style a bit.