rub your arms moments: are you listening?

i once had a teacher
who would rub her arms 
full of goosebumps and implore
her class,
"shhh! shhhh!!
did you hear it?!
weren't you listening?!"

she was not everyone's favorite.

she gave us B's.
sometimes C's.

shook her head
and told us we weren't trying hard enough,
just when we thought we were.


she marched out when we were

impossible.

she pursed her lips, piercing 
us with silence, when we

didn't listen.

she moaned when we couldn't

hear our own faults.

and worse...
she made us do it 
again & again & again.


we would say, i'm no good.

she would say, you can be.

we would say, i can't.

she would say, you can.

we would say, i won't ever.

she would say, you will.

but we loved her.

when she was absent for even a day,

we begged to have her back.

she stole our hearts.

we might not have known.

she might not have known.

regardless.
it didn't matter.
because she taught us
what she was.

 

melody.

rhythm. 

movement.

moments.

music.

she taught us these things.

but most importantly
she taught us

to listen.

to listen to 
our own voice.

to the voice beside us.

and the voices all around.

she taught us to love beauty.

beauty that we

all

standing together

working toward one thing...

created. 

together.

she taught us

harmony and perfection

could come into a single moment.


she taught us to
notice the moments.

she would gasp.
and glow.
her excitement
and wonder penetrating the room,
rubbing her arms.


"did you hear it?!
are you listening?"


the body knows beauty.


but she taught us to listen for it.
and appreciate it.


this teacher
she doesn't know. 
she can't.
of how often my mind wanders to her.
to her classes
where she would push and push us.
bubble with pleasure
rubbing to her arms...


because of her,
there is always something for me
about a choir...
those moments.
only envoked by voices
working together.
to create
those moments of perfection... harmony
and utter beauty.


hmmm...
it touches something deep inside.


do you hear it?
are you listening?


may choirs find you.
or 
may you find them.
and may you notice
the moments.
and rub arms full of goosebumps.


let the season begin,
natalie.

ps beautiful images found here. here & here.

why korea? oh i will tell you...

so you say you are interested 

in teaching abroad?

and you are thinking about coming to Korea?

let me tell you right now,

teaching abroad is not for everyone.

and Korea is probably not for everyone either...

but if your on the fence

about plans for your future,

you should consider this burst of

persuasion.

at least think about it.

number one: 

i teach some of the

cutest kids you've 

ever seen.

number two:

Koreans grow massive amount of their produce

in country.

and let me tell you...

whatever comes with the season...

will take your breath away. 

number three: the old men.

sometimes these lovely old men

 might invite

you to drink a little beer

and eat a little squid with them

because you just happened to be

sitting in their favorite spot 

in the park.

the spot where they have

 sat,

drank,

and munched on squid together

for the past...

the past forever.

number four: rice fields.

because they are just actually so awesome.

so foreign to me.

and so breathtakingly beautiful.

number five:

you get to wear amazing shoes like this...

at work.

typically with socks

showcasing the most popular 

cartoon characters.

and if it's winter...

you get to wear slippers.

number six: 

mogyoktangs. 

i.e. 

korean bath houses.

with separate bathing areas for

men and women

[yes you will be naked throughout this whole experience]

you will discover

something so wonderful

you'll wonder how you ever lived without

such pure

bliss.

picture from this fun blog.

number seven:

Korean co-teachers.

if you are fortunate enough to have them

they will make your life better.

and completely

worth it.

all you must do

is take the time to get to know them.

they've changed my life.

that's for sure.

and i will never be the same again.

number eight: 

after the long winter color emerges in the form of...

cherry blossoms.

and it's just as magical as it sounds.

number nine:

Korean baseball.

best.sporting.event.i've.ever.been.to.

no.question.

number ten:

the special coffee drinks.

best latte i'll ever drink.

made to perfection

each and every time!

and i've only just begun...

are you teaching and living abroad in

Korea?

tell me why you love it.

today. celebrate. woman.

i met her by chance.

a couple of weeks ago.

she intrigued me.

she was locked. 

and i was curious to know what

was inside.

over dinner

she slowly opened a bit

of herself.

she shared her hopes.

her failed attempts.

and her dreams.

she spoke of diligence.

and it radiated from her core.

diligence in her relationships.

her family.

her friends.

and her education. 

her english

speaking was poised,

thoughtful and dynamic.

i'm not sure how it happened.

but she asked me

if i

would help her study more english.

i told her

she didn't need it.

her english was possibly better 

than mine.

but she insisted.

she took my number.

told me she'd call.

and she did.

i think of the word

intense.

and completely delightful.

this is her.

her thoughts are soaking

with wisdom.

learned from a life lived...

intentionally.

her awareness of self

is poignant.

almost shocking

in utter clearness.

she has dreamed the dream of

travel.

as so many have.

to her, the work of being a 

flight attendant offers this.

her 20s are scattered with several 

ventures to achieve

this dream.

but the time has not been right.

she is no stranger to failed attempts.

life is mysterious, she says.

the time has not been right.

something about our chance encounter.

she said, inspired me.

your compliment

and confidence about my english skills...

job opportunities,

and something about the time...

it feels right this time.

so together. 

in coffee shops or small cafes

she is preparing.

i, assisting.

preparations for interviews.

because this intriguing woman

is living something.

something she has dreamed.

and all the while

she is teaching me.

always try.

we must.

because our dreams are apart of us.

life is mysterious.

but we must be diligent.

and you must not be afraid of failure, she says.

because failure just means

there is something else.

but we must dream.

and we must try.

so we do not have to wonder...

the way she pulls her hair

away from her face.

her enrapturing head-back laugh that shows

off her mischievous smile.

the way she grasps my arm when we walk.

our age difference.

while six years thick.

seems unimportant as i sit across

from her.

she jokes, calling me, sam.

the korean title for a teacher.

it humbles me.

because proper sentence arrangement

seems so insignificant.

to what i am absorbing.

soaking.

up.

never be afraid to dream.

and to try.

because we must.

we must try. she says.

when we part for the evening

it is i.

whose heart is filled. and pumping hard.

from my friend,

from my teacher.

because i am aware

of the risk of trying.

of what failure can look like.

how it can

eat at the very core.

she.

she is not scared.

or so she tells me every time we meet.

this time is for fun.

she wants to do it to

not wonder...what if...

but there is a wince behind her

confident eyes

every time she says it.

i know she wants to believe it.

but trying,
trying can be scary.

giving it your very all.

is risky.

so today.

on International Women's Day.

i wanted to tell you

a story.

about a woman.

who is dreaming.

who is hoping.

who is trying.

who has almost given up.

but she hasn't.

she has taught me.

that without

dreams.

what is there?

if we are not listneing to

the small voice inside,

what are we doing?

when will we start listening?
to ourselves.

today. celebrate. women.