what time is it?

sometimes it's dreadfully
hard to know.
to be even slightly certain,
because uncertainty clings and circles
just like nats in summer. 

how do you know?
how do you know what time it is?

because when we like something.
we want it.
we want more of it.
we want to be near it.
to find it.
to search it out.
to just look at it.
sip it.
watch it.
absorb it.
be with it.
see it.
have it see you.

and sometimes
it's time.
to notice what's eating at you
and move your entire world 
only to find it.
this something.
because you know you must.
and it's the only answer.

don't ask me what this it
is.
only you can know.

for some, it might a friend.
a parent.
a lover.
a city.
a dream.

for a friend of mine
the it was

the ocean.

she heard the craving inside.
that voice that
wouldn't seem to leave her be.

and so she began listening.
(as the brave ones do).

she picked up.
kissed her family.
waved goodbye to lifelong friends.
and she moved toward that something.

to the ocean.

it was time.
and she knew it.

and so,
for eleven whole months
this one thing she liked so deeply...
she was near it.
she touched it.
watched it.
absorbed it.
saw it.

and that ocean saw her, too.

it was time.
and she knew it.

and then one day 
when she hardly expected it,
with her windows flung wide
to the rolling sounds of the 
wave & tide...

she shut her windows.

why?
because it was time.
and she knew it.

it was time to go back.
to move away from the ocean.
to be near friends and old family.

the choice was full.
full of 
the hard
the easy
the good
the peaceful
the unrestful
the questions
the asking
the wondering
the certainty.
and of course,
the uncertainty.

the choice was all of those things
(as any choice that truly
matters often seems to be).

i share this story,
i say all of this because
i wonder.
i am wondering...

do you know what time it is?
do you know what it
is?

do not ask me what your it
is dear friend.

but listen.
listen well
and then perhaps you will hear.
perhaps you will hear and 
perhaps you will know
what time it is. 


xxo